Today I find it hard to write, so much of what I want to say feels so unimportant in the light of the sadness and grief I feel. I have lost a friend. She died on the weekend- slipping away after being ill in the morning. I lost Atty . A tiny little black and white goat that came to me traveling the the tool box of Greg's bike. Small , shivering and alone- this little creature came into our lives and blessed it in a way that is hard to explain. If you only believe that friendship needs to take human form than much of what I write and share from my heart will elude you. It will be put down to impractical sillness . I am silly then and happy to be so. For I have found a wonderful friendship in a little bundle. A comfort that I am grieving for. I never minded the need to mix up bottles of milk for her or going out in the rain to feed her several times a day. I rejoiced in watching her grow, poke an inch of her little horns to the surface. Or how wonderful she felt in my arms - soft and furry with little sighs of contentment. Or the sheer joy she took in life .The need to skip everywhere . To jump and race. Or the uncontained joy she showed when she saw or heard me. My last memories of Atty would be the little tail wagging - inspite of how ill she must have been. How she made an effort to call out to me when she heard my voice, even then. Both Greg and I have lost some of the joy that used to fill Mystic Hills. There is a presence missing. Absent . And my soul grieves so much for her. Atty would share mornings with me. Watch sunsets while skipping and dancing around my feet. She would take long walks with us in the evening as we put our day to rest. She was my friend , my companion , my confidante.
It grieves me so much to know that I was not here when Atty died. I cannot forgive myself for that. For not letting her know I was with her and that we cared for her. I ache to think she died alone. In my utter foolishness I was miles away trying to extend a hand in friendship to some who had no intention of ever seeing me or returning my love. I wasted moments. Moments that I could have shared with my friend as she died. Why do we do it? Ignore the love and beauty we already have in the pursuit of what does not matter. I lost much this weekend - my dear little friend and part of my self - discounted for sale for people who do not matter.
My little sweetness lies buried under a tree - in a grave ringed with stones , strewn with flowers and a little angel. How huge a hole such a small creature can leave in one's heart.And what powerful a lesson to impart. My little Atty - you have my love and a piece of my heart. Always.
"Gone Too Soon"
Like A Comet
Blazing 'Cross The Evening Sky
Gone Too Soon
Like A Rainbow
Fading In The Twinkling Of An Eye
Gone Too Soon
Shiny And Sparkly
And Splendidly Bright
Here One Day
Gone One Night
Like The Loss Of Sunlight
On A Cloudy Afternoon
Gone Too Soon
Like A Castle
Built Upon A Sandy Beach
Gone Too Soon
Like A Perfect Flower
That Is Just Beyond Your Reach
Gone Too Soon
Born To Amuse, To Inspire, To Delight
Here One Day
Gone One Night
Like A Sunset
Dying With The Rising Of The Moon
Gone Too Soon
Gone Too Soon
