Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Edna turns broody!!

Life here is always filled with new surprises. Today when doing my usual morning feeding of the animals- giving Licorice our baby goat ,  his bottle - feeding the chickens and collecting eggs. I discovered that our dear sweet Edna has decided she wants chicks. She has turned quite broody on us and is determined to sit on her little nest of hay and not move. It will be wonderful to think of the prospect of chicks soon as I am itching to add more animals to our little farm. It amazes me how everything - everything - in nature knows instinctively its own seasons and its own rhythms. They move seamlessly into one stage after another- throwing themselves fully into each. The best lesson it seems is their ability to live in the moment rather than cast their view longingly back towards the past. So today here in Mystic Hills , Edna will sit on her nest - happy and expectant. It is her time and it is her season. It is a wonderful thing - this life.

Monday, September 14, 2009


Its a beautiful still sunny spring morning as I write this. The Tui are singing joyfully in the garden and I can almost hear the grass growing. It is a day to be alive! We spent the weekend in the Kaimanawa mountains and the peace of the hills has lifted me above the often depressing drag of daily life.
And that is what is so profound.
I don't have a daily life that is a drag. I enjoy my job, love it with a passion actually. I love my life, my location, my friends, my partner, but, often I am fooled into believing that other things on the pheriphery of life should take center stage. Yes, I am a normal human being with many of life's normal hassles and difficulties. I have people who are displeased with me, I have bills to pay and vehicles and appliances that fail me at vital moments. I have aches and pains and disfigurements from a full life lived close to the edge. And many are the small irritations of my days....if I choose to dwell on these things.

I have a labyrinth in my garden, an ancient form of prayer and meditation, and walking slowly around it on this glorious morning I pondered the way many of us (if not all of us) live life as little children in adult bodies. Grown, yet still responding to our world from within the fears and imaginations of children, peering out from our special safe places, waiting for...someone to rescue us?, or permission to be?. Living life in such a way is what makes it a drag. It forces us to pretend we are grown up and independent when in reality we are desperatley dependent on others and our circumstances to feel safe and happy. But this is not true reality! True reality is this..the world is round. What, I hear you say is he talking about? I'm talking about the difference between a flat earth and a round one. On a flat earth it is possible to go too far toward the edge and fall off-there are distinct boundaries where you cannot go. On a  round earth on the other hand it is entirely possible to go in any direction for as long as you want and still be on the earth. And that is true reality. You and I are able to choose how we live, how we respond to our circumstances and what pleasures or ambitions we will pursue and we need never fear falling off the world. It is simply impossible while experiencing human life to cease to be human. Unpleasant sometimes, but we get to learn and choose even in those circumstances.

What I'm trying to say in all this is that I could choose to live each day focusing on the things that make life a drag. Or I can choose how I will feel and focus on the many joys and pleasures of this beautiful world and have a great day.
I blog because I like to write and if I wanted to I could find many excuses and valid reasons why I shouldn't, but I've chosen to enjoy life, and so I blog.

I guess I'm dumbfounded as to why I took so long to realise that the child in me is still allowed to live 'in the moment' and enjoy playing where-ever I am.

What lies inside each of us.

It often amazes me how little I truly know about myself..I have found over the last few years that I am constantly pushed and challenged beyond what I  thought I could do. Choices I never would have considered - I now find I cannot dream of doing without. In each step I take , I amaze myself. It is delightful to surprise oneself. One of the best examples of finding what lies dormant in each of us - is our beautiful cat Hope. Hope is a Ragdoll . One of these rather special breed of cats noted for their docile and placid nature. She is very much created to be your lounge cat. The kind you find all fluffed up in cat shows and on cat postcards. She is what Greg has termed the "blonde princess". She carries herself with a regal sense of who is she and is never flustered by what is around her. There is no hurrying Hope to do anything. She is an indoor cat, who detests getting her paws wet ,let alone dirty. You can then imagine the sheer horror I felt when having moved my precious fur family to the country - I was informed that now they could safely roam the great outdoors, hunt for rabbit and come and go as they please. I thought Greg was highly optimistic - let alone deluded. I could not imagine my Princess even making overtures toward the cat door. Still ,I smiled the polite smile of one in love when your sweetheart is attempting to propel your precious cat through a cat door.Hope was herself uncertain if this was a good idea. Episodes of "kitty swearing" - spayed out paws and frantic mid air scratching were displayed. Both man and cat persevered in holding their ground. Finally Hope's ventures into the outdoors became longer and gradually more frequent. She now wakes us up at the first sign of dawn to be let out the cat door. I have seen her slinking across the lawn in pursuit of some bird she stands no chance of catching. She returns home with muddy paws and smelling of hard time done in the wool shed by our home. What ever has become of my "show cat" kitty? In her place a creature basking in the pure pleasure of a new world - the joy of exploration and the willingness to find within herself a new way of living and embrace that. I marvel at the lesson that teaches me when I find myself in new waters- looking longingly back to the past. Why not instead embrace the possibility of the unknown - the new - the uncertain. What do I have to lose in the real scope of things- perhaps pride - perhaps the possibility of looking stupid. I have to admit I have done "looking stupid " many times in life - so that will not be a new skill for me. Rather I  think in the process of stepping out into the unknown I may find I meet someone quite new- a part of myself I have yet to discover. Maybe, just maybe - I will surprise myself.