The Faces of my Family

Before I moved to the country I was warned and advised that country life in a rural setting was hard and the isolation from people could be difficult to tolerate. This did not worry me too much. I was going to be with my soul mate and best friend. Plus I had my cats . I have never been one given to huge masses of friends - rather I make a few close friends. It is these people that have been through the storms with me. Some have been human- and others animals. Little Sophie is one of them. Shy and timid , Sophie was rescued from a cat shelter. She is a small bundle of sheer love. Once trust is won- Sophie is always around to cuddle up to or sit with. She has a quiet acceptance that I most value in my friends. The way she sits with me when I am upset and seems to say " I dont know how to help ..but I am here" Sophie is family.

Living so far away from my own family - there are times when I miss them terribly. Christmas and New Year are the hardest. Still I have found a wider family who I hold close to my heart. I talk to them daily , share joys and sorrows and vent. Oh! how wonderful it is to have family to vent to. I have a huge circle of moms , grans, and sisters. I have my quilting bee online in Quilt Talk. These women are my family. We sit around the table each day and discuss what we have quilted , new projects to start , pets who have been ill, love life and children , In laws and out laws....we talk about life. No pretense or judgements - just life . We share from our hearts , weep with each other , laugh and tease. The bond is invisable and strong.It is funny to think how far this love for each other stretches........from Idaho, to  New York, to Germany,  to Canada a whole mass if sisters across the USA.......Ohio, Texas , North Carolina , Kansas, Missouri..., Australia.and New Zealand. We have never seen or met each other - but the love and concern we share for each other is real. For outsiders it is unreal and impossible, For us it is simple- we are family. Today we are saddened ,one of our own has lost the love of her life. Our sister needs us - and love filters in from all over the world...hugs , kisses , words or comfort and prayers. We join hands across unseen miles and hold onto our friend . We will walk with her till she is able to be strong again. We are family.

The events over the past days have made me ponder the whole idea of family - what it is - who it encompasses. So many of us struggle with our own families - the expectations , the demands or simply the mold we are required to fit into. Hurt caused by our families can run so deep and hurt so badly. We look at the TV families and wonder - what on earth happened to ours. I read once a beautiful sentiment - that family are those you love you - accept you - and give you room to grow..They love you first before asking ..why. There are some who will insist that family must be blood related, draw from the same line, be just like you to count. They deny the possibility of the bond of family from people unseen and distant...but such is their loss. I have a large family - a brother who lives in quiet simplicity in a large tin shed, sisters and grans who sit around and quilt with me , brothers , dads , uncles and such. Everyone is accepted and everyone belongs .We are a strange crew - none of us look  or sound anything like the other .But we have a bond far deeper and stronger - love , acceptance and belief in each other. We are family.Simple.

Bread

Bread. Basic, simple yet such a pleasure to make and eat.
I discovered baking bread for myself only a year ago. I have always appreciated home baked bread and sometimes been involved in its making. I have even used a bread maker but only in the past year have I baked bread the old fashioned way for my daily sustenance and I have been amazed at how much I enjoy the process as well as the results. There is something very relaxing about the smell and texture of a yeasty dough. The working of the dough under your hands, the waiting for it to rise, the warmth of the elements involved and the immense satisfaction of freshhot bread with cheese and jam or even on its own.
For anyone seeking peace and tranquility in a rushed and unsettled world I recommend taking the time to bake bread. It really doesn't take much time at all, but the minutes spent doing it settle the soul and calm the nerves. And I'll make a bet that serving it hot to someone else will help them relax as well!

A Recipe:

I don't use recipes as once you understand the basic principles of bread making it becomes very simple so despite the fact that the rather vague instructions to follow may distress some of you I'm going to tell you how I do it, the way I do it.

In a large bowl put some warm (warm to touch but not hot) water. About 2-3 cups, you'll soon get the feel for how much is right. Anyway the amount of water dictates the amount of flour so it all pans out in the end.
Into this water put 2-3 tablespoons of dried yeast and about 2 tablespoons of sugar or honey.
Let stand in a warm spot. I have a sunny window seat, in front of the fire, or the hot water cupboard as options.(about 5-10 minutes)
When the mixture has "erupted" which takes 2-10 minutes add a dash of salt and a dob of butter( if the butter is hard just grate it), about 5 cups of flour (plain or wholewheat) and beat until smooth. Use a cake mixer on low with those wiggly things instead of beaters otherwise give yourself a sore forearm and use a knife for about 100 strokes minimum (or ask for a volunteer).
Now add extra flour, about 2-3 cups until a workable dough has formed, turn out on a floured surface and knead, adding flour as required to stop the dough sticking. Keep kneading until dough is smooth and elastic , ie: it feels silky and warm and sensual.
Place in an oiled bowl, cover and leave to rise in your preferred warm spot until it has doubled in size. Go do something else in the meantime as this can take 30- 60 minutes depending on where you put it, and if it rises more because you are away for longer it doesn't matter.
Punch down the dough to it's original size and then leave to rise again ( If you are really impatient just throw in a cold oven and bake it. It will be OK but not as good as it could be).
When risen for the second time divide into rolls or place in well greased loaf tins or old spaggetti tins, pudding bowls, camp ovens, etc. Use butter to grease as oil will make the bread stick. About 1/3 fill the tins with dough and bake in a preheated oven at 160 degrees celcius until golden on top and hollow sounding when tapped. How long will depend on how big the loaves are, small round buns like the ones above took 35 minutes. The whole mixture in one loaf takes about 75 minutes.
When you've got the feel for this you can add anything you like to flavour the bread. I often throw a handful of rolled oats into the initial water and yeast mix just because i felt like it once and it seemed to work. Fruit and the like should be added between the rises.
Butter, cheese and wine should be on hand when bread is removed from the oven. Wrap any uneaten bread in a teatowel and store in a cool dry place. Enjoy, and let me know how you get on.

Edna turns broody!!

Life here is always filled with new surprises. Today when doing my usual morning feeding of the animals- giving Licorice our baby goat ,  his bottle - feeding the chickens and collecting eggs. I discovered that our dear sweet Edna has decided she wants chicks. She has turned quite broody on us and is determined to sit on her little nest of hay and not move. It will be wonderful to think of the prospect of chicks soon as I am itching to add more animals to our little farm. It amazes me how everything - everything - in nature knows instinctively its own seasons and its own rhythms. They move seamlessly into one stage after another- throwing themselves fully into each. The best lesson it seems is their ability to live in the moment rather than cast their view longingly back towards the past. So today here in Mystic Hills , Edna will sit on her nest - happy and expectant. It is her time and it is her season. It is a wonderful thing - this life.

Dumbfounded

Its a beautiful still sunny spring morning as I write this. The Tui are singing joyfully in the garden and I can almost hear the grass growing. It is a day to be alive! We spent the weekend in the Kaimanawa mountains and the peace of the hills has lifted me above the often depressing drag of daily life.
And that is what is so profound.

I don't have a daily life that is a drag. I enjoy my job, love it with a passion actually. I love my life, my location, my friends, my partner, but, often I am fooled into believing that other things on the pheriphery of life should take center stage. Yes, I am a normal human being with many of life's normal hassles and difficulties. I have people who are displeased with me, I have bills to pay and vehicles and appliances that fail me at vital moments. I have aches and pains and disfigurements from a full life lived close to the edge. And many are the small irritations of my days....if I choose to dwell on these things.

I have a labyrinth in my garden, an ancient form of prayer and meditation, and walking slowly around it on this glorious morning I pondered the way many of us (if not all of us) live life as little children in adult bodies. Grown, yet still responding to our world from within the fears and imaginations of children, peering out from our special safe places, waiting for...someone to rescue us?, or permission to be?. Living life in such a way is what makes it a drag. It forces us to pretend we are grown up and independent when in reality we are desperatley dependent on others and our circumstances to feel safe and happy. But this is not true reality! True reality is this..the world is round. What, I hear you say is he talking about? I'm talking about the difference between a flat earth and a round one. On a flat earth it is possible to go too far toward the edge and fall off-there are distinct boundaries where you cannot go. On a  round earth on the other hand it is entirely possible to go in any direction for as long as you want and still be on the earth. And that is true reality. You and I are able to choose how we live, how we respond to our circumstances and what pleasures or ambitions we will pursue and we need never fear falling off the world. It is simply impossible while experiencing human life to cease to be human. Unpleasant sometimes, but we get to learn and choose even in those circumstances.

What I'm trying to say in all this is that I could choose to live each day focusing on the things that make life a drag. Or I can choose how I will feel and focus on the many joys and pleasures of this beautiful world and have a great day.

I blog because I like to write and if I wanted to I could find many excuses and valid reasons why I shouldn't, but I've chosen to enjoy life, and so I blog.

I guess I'm dumbfounded as to why I took so long to realise that the child in me is still allowed to live 'in the moment' and enjoy playing where-ever I am.

What lies inside each of us.

 

It often amazes me how little I truly know about myself..I have found over the last few years that I am constantly pushed and challenged beyond what I  thought I could do. Choices I never would have considered - I now find I cannot dream of doing without. In each step I take , I amaze myself. It is delightful to surprise oneself. One of the best examples of finding what lies dormant in each of us - is our beautiful cat Hope. Hope is a Ragdoll . One of these rather special breed of cats noted for their docile and placid nature. She is very much created to be your lounge cat. The kind you find all fluffed up in cat shows and on cat postcards. She is what Greg has termed the "blonde princess". She carries herself with a regal sense of who is she and is never flustered by what is around her. There is no hurrying Hope to do anything. She is an indoor cat, who detests getting her paws wet ,let alone dirty. You can then imagine the sheer horror I felt when having moved my precious fur family to the country - I was informed that now they could safely roam the great outdoors, hunt for rabbit and come and go as they please. I thought Greg was highly optimistic - let alone deluded. I could not imagine my Princess even making overtures toward the cat door. Still ,I smiled the polite smile of one in love when your sweetheart is attempting to propel your precious cat through a cat door.Hope was herself uncertain if this was a good idea. Episodes of "kitty swearing" - spayed out paws and frantic mid air scratching were displayed. Both man and cat persevered in holding their ground. Finally Hope's ventures into the outdoors became longer and gradually more frequent. She now wakes us up at the first sign of dawn to be let out the cat door. I have seen her slinking across the lawn in pursuit of some bird she stands no chance of catching. She returns home with muddy paws and smelling of hard time done in the wool shed by our home. What ever has become of my "show cat" kitty? In her place a creature basking in the pure pleasure of a new world - the joy of exploration and the willingness to find within herself a new way of living and embrace that. I marvel at the lesson that teaches me when I find myself in new waters- looking longingly back to the past. Why not instead embrace the possibility of the unknown - the new - the uncertain. What do I have to lose in the real scope of things- perhaps pride - perhaps the possibility of looking stupid. I have to admit I have done "looking stupid " many times in life - so that will not be a new skill for me. Rather I  think in the process of stepping out into the unknown I may find I meet someone quite new- a part of myself I have yet to discover. Maybe, just maybe - I will surprise myself.

The wonderful humble chicken!

 

I now have a new appreciation for the wonderful humble chicken. I have never been a meat eater and my experience of eggs have always been that of neat 12 packs on a supermarket shelf. I must admit I have never given it alot of thought. Growing up and living in a city all my life , one never contemplates the idea of keeping chickens. Still I have always loved the idea. I use to indulge my fantasies by buying books on country living, keeping chickens and other such wonderful heart warming ideals. I do know that for some women - this would be a nightmare. Cleaning out chicken coops, dealing with chicken poop etc. But I have come to understand that I have been wired differently - some genetic throwback to another time that survived the upbringing in a fast paced city.I have always wanted to live a life that was simple , close to the earth and grounded. One does tend to give up the dream - on days trapped behind a computer looking out at a world of tall buildings, traffic jams and skyscrapers. I never openly shared this dream for to do so - would invite ridicule. It was incomprehensible to the world I had come from - the people I worked with - how anyone would want a life that was "pushed back into the dark ages ". The very notion that I wanted to grow my own food ,make my own soap, keep chickens, spin and weave my own wool or bake homemade bread was ridiculous. It was considered a sheer waste of time. In contrast- trolling the newspapers for real estate investments or checking the stock market or making numerous circuits around the local mall was not. Yes - I was wired differently.

It was wonderful to find a soul mate who not only shared my dreams but relished in them too. We work side by side as we plant a vegetable garden and plan a life that is off the beaten track but  true to ourselves. Our little collection of 5 hens and 1 rooster bless us daily with fresh eggs. Little brown ones - warm from a bed of hay and a little blue one from Chookie . Chookie has always been a little bit of a rebel- scooting out of the hen house at top speed and refusing to go back in. They share our world here...wandering about the farm. talking to us, making uncoordinated sprints  across the field when they think its dinner time. It is hard to take life seriously with chickens about- it just cant be done. In many ways its cheap therapy.

I now feel for thousands of chickens trapped in cages and forced to lay eggs for supermarket shelves. I see more than ever the need to try to buy free range eggs. For chickens are not just egg producers- they are very much individuals with a personality and life force within them. Their size and humility does not take anything from what wonderful little additions they are to our lives. 

Sitting on our front porch watching our chickens talk to each us and  to each other, hurry about their way with a funny sense of urgency,or  just "be".  ASlice of heaven.

The world  can keep its malls. I have time to waste.

Books....Wonderful Books!!

Books make up a huge part of our life here and both of us are delighted at the prospect of having a home filled with old musty books. Well thumbed , yellowed pages of the passion and soul mummerings of another's existance. Our collection to date is quite a blend . Novels, classics , poetry , New Zealand life and adventure , Craft and Cooking, Self Sufficency and Country Living, Psychology and Sociology , Religion and Philosophy. There is nothing more wonderful or soothing than an evening by the fire with a new book that excites , transports and inspires. For me a trip to the library to return home with an armful of books is akin to what most women find in the "mall experience". I am inspired by books showing the creations of others..be it quilts with vintage fabrics, rugs hooked from old clothes, primitive dolls or wild crocheted tea cosies. There is something quite wonderful about the ability to share ideas and inspiration. It is in one way what we hope this blog will do- share our world , our thoughts with anyone who stumbles upon it to read. And we welcome your feedback and contact - share with us what you have read or found that we might find interesting too. We have included a list of books we are reading and have read. Hopefully from it you can see  what inspires and challenges us- to become better people...deeper souls and more authentic to ourselves. We are so happy to have you join us on this mystical path.